For the past few years, I feel like I’ve lost my “zest” for life.
I used to have so many things I “loved” to do. Travel. Photography. Read. Go explore and see new things around the city or around the state. Go listen to bands. Visit with friends and laugh. Go to plays. Write and receive letters. Keep up with and send cards for people’s birthdays. Go to the movies.
I still do some of those things, but not with the same zest. I won’t go into detail as to why, because it’s more than one reason. I went into a depression (not clinical) several years ago and have had a hard time “snapping out of it”. I internalize a lot of things, so even though I express it at times, verbally, no one really knows how I’m feeling inside. Sometimes it comes out in little crying fits (which I know a few of you have witnessed), but otherwise, I just go over things in my head. When I have an issue with someone, I always have a hard time bringing it to them, so I just swallow it. There have been times where I feel like I’m an empath…..not literally…..but I DO tend to let the people that are around me feelings/mood effect my own. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not depressed all of the time – I just get in these “funks” every once in a while. We all do – right??
My husband had recently taken the Briggs Myers test and shared his results with me. He is a very rare type of personality. I found a version and took it also. Ours are SO opposite. I do agree with what it said about both of us though. (In case you’re curious – Tommie is an INTJ and I am an ESFJ)
I’m a pretty sensitive person, though I try not to be. I sometimes wish I was as rational as my husband….but alas, I’m too much of an “emotional” creature. I continue to work on my well-being. Thank you for my friends and family who genuinely care and let me know, regularly. It means a lot to me. I’m pretty lucky to have some pretty great people in my life. Don’t know what I’d do without you! You get what you put out, so I really do try to make an effort to touch base every once in a while!
Well – Enough about that! I had my birthday this week. Another year closer to 40! (Ugh! Is it possible??) I chose to have dinner at my favorite type of restaurant. (Japanese Steakhouse) I figured I wanted to get that in before my surgery. It was really nice to have my loved one’s together. A few couldn’t make it, but I was happy with who I had there and missed the one’s who weren’t. I also got several calls from friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while, which was nice.
We’ve been working on refinancing the house and that is finally close to an end! So much paperwork and back and forth!! It seems like it’s taken several months, but we got an excellent rate and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Ha ha. Will be cutting a little off our monthly payment, but not much, but am cutting 5 years off the loan and will now have a little less than 3% interest! Not bad, if you ask me. I just got the call that we’ll be closing on Wednesday. I’m SO ready!
SO anyway – guess I’ll go ahead and close this post. Hang in with me – I’ll get there! I have so many positives in my life, and things are looking UP. 🙂
I took a Myers Briggs test, but I can’t remember what I was. I do remember I was an “I” though. Wish I could find my score. I have noticed a change in you the last few years. I want you to be happy, but I know that has to come from you. I went through some mild depression during my final year of college. I had no rational reason to feel sad, just did. But I was able to pull out of it. I read a book about it that helped.
I was surprised by being an “E”, but when I read the results, it was pretty right on….Of coarse, it was the free version, so I didn’t get the “in depth” explanation, I just had to “google” the personality type. 😀
I’m an INTJ, too. Love those personality tests! Anything that explains and categorizes in a rational manner is my idea of fun. Earlier this week, I was feeling stressed and spent some time sorting a mixed bag of sequins (of all things!) by size and shape, and poof, stress gone. Weird, I know!
Hoping the best for you, and sometimes it seems to be the best course to only focus on the good things in a single moment and block out the rest, letting that single good thing in that one point in time fill you up with goodness and recharging your batteries to deal with the next item on the agenda.
I love the tests too, Michele. 🙂 That’s cool that we are the same personality type! 😀 I SO need to do some organizing. I’m such a messy person. Sounds like you are OCD. lol.