So – I’m still waiting……not to hear back from insurance – but for it to be SUBMITTED to insurance.  A couple days after fulfilling my last recommended requirement I sent an email to the head nurse asking her if I had everything needed.  In the meanwhile, I contacted my insurance company to see if they had received paperwork and to ask them how long approval took.  I heard back from insurance next day saying they do not see anything, but once they receive paperwork, it usually takes 7 to 10 business days for approval.  I heard back from the nurse 12 days later.  She stated that she had been on vacation and my last class was just two weeks ago.  Hopefully she’d get to my folder in the next few days to see what I was missing.  JUST two weeks??  That is a long time for someone that is waiting!  SO – that was 4 days ago.  Still haven’t heard back from her.  Sent her another email last night.  We’ll see if it goes anywhere.  It’s just frustrating.

In the meanwhile I’ve been slowly trying some of the protein shake samples I have, since for a month or so, I’ll be on them every day.  There have been a few that I can stomach and others I’ve just had to pour down the drain. (Ick!)  Most of the vanilla one’s I’ve tried are doable, and even though I’m not a chocolate shake fan, I did take a sip of one Tommie tried and I think I can probably do that one.  The two I just couldn’t stomach so far are Nectar’s Green Apple and Strawberry Kiwi.

I have set up a couple appointments this month to take Christmas Card photos with a couple of families.  I also took photos at a wedding.  I’m just NOT cut out for that!  Number One – I don’t think my photos are anywhere near professional quality – and wedding pictures are so important!  Number Two – I never know where to stand to get good photos during the ceremony – I feel like I’m in the way.  Luckily this one was a tiny church, so I could stay seated.  Number Three – I’m not very good at indoor photography without the flash, and when I use the flash – lighting is too harsh.  It’d be nice to have a mentor to learn this stuff from.  It’s hard for me to learn from reading, I’m more of the type to learn better by being shown and asking questions and getting feedback.  SO – that will be my last wedding.  (though I did have a lot fun celebrating with everyone and taking pics) 🙂

My cousin’s husband, Tommy, has requested another game night, so I need to see when I can get the house presentable enough to have one.  My house is in need of a complete overhaul!  I need new floors and new furniture.  Waiting on deck to be stained and sealed also, so I can put all our stuff back out there….currently we have it sitting in the kitchen and spare bedroom.  I just have a long “to do” list for around here!

Last of all – I want to thank my friends and family that have been there the last month while I’ve been feeling a bit down.  I appreciate it.  It’s nice to feel loved so much.  I’m very lucky.

So, today I had my second therapist appointment. I think this go of therapy, at least so far, is going better than in the past. I told her right off that I hadn’t had success with it in the past and that I was looking for someone I “clicked” with. She expressed that she agreed that it was important and if we didn’t click, she could help me find someone that would work better.

But, I do like her. I feel like I can tell her anything and she gives me good support and feed back. I have an issue with just crying when talking about things that are difficult for me, so by the end of our sessions, my eyes and nose are sore and stay that way for the rest of the day.  This time I asked for an assignment, so my assignment for the week is to write down 25 things a day I’m thankful for, plus to do something for myself every day.  It’s to give me an anchor.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for…..25 a day seems like a lot to me, esp. some days. 😀  But I can do it!  Already started on my list for today.  Just to name a few, I’m thankful for music.  It makes me feel better just to listen to it.  I get sucked into the words and the beat and it lifts my spirit.  I’m also thankful for my friends and family who read my thoughts here and the responses I get.  It reminds me of how many people really do care.  I have a lot of loving friends and family and it really makes me thankful.

I’ve joined a few Bariatric Support Groups online.  Looking forward to making some new friends there for once I have my surgery.  I’ve made some really great friends from online groups in the past.  People I stay in touch with and who check in on me.  Even have met a few in person on my travels.

As I mentioned on Facebook, I started an interview with my Grandma Hornaday on Friday. I printed out some questions I had found online, to ask.  I set up the video camera and asked two questions.  She talked for about 45 mins, until I ran out of memory.  I need to invest in a bigger card. 🙂  My Grandma is really big into family history and has an excellent memory, so was more than happy to share!  She remembers the exact address of everywhere she has lived, ever!  I’ve done one interview with my Grandma Joan also, but need to set up another interview with her also.  I’m thinking it might be good to do an interview with her and her brother together.  So anyway, it was just the beginning of getting that family history down on video.  Should be an interesting project!

Well, that’s all I have for now.  Thanks for reading. 😀

I can’t believe that my 3 month prep for my surgery is over!  Today was my last dietitian/physiologist class.  The next step is that the clinic will submit all the paperwork to my insurance for approval.  Once they hear back from the insurance, they will call me and I assume, set a surgery date.  They were saying that it could be anywhere from two weeks to a month to hear back from the insurance.  After that I’ll need to go on a two week liver shrinking, all liquid, diet before surgery. I’m ready to have my date set so I can get a better time frame as to when it’s all going to happen.  She was thinking around Christmas.  That is if everything goes as planned.

The past month it seems I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster.  I’m ready for things to just get back to normal.  I DID find a therapist and made an appt and had my first session. First session she just let me vent.  I think I’m going to like her.  I’ll see her again next week.

My friend, Kerry, has been walking with me lately.  Trying to get as much of it in while the weather is still nice out.  It’s been nice to have someone to encourage me.  She’s always been a great walking partner.  Walks at my pace and is a great ear and shoulder to lean on, and is always telling me I can do it. 🙂  Now I’ll just have to make myself keep it up at the community center once it gets colder outside!

Friday I’m planning on taking my camcorder to my Grandma Hornaday’s place and record an interview with her.  It’s been something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, just never got around to it.  I’ve done one interview with my Grandma Joan, but need to do more….figure out a way to get her to open up more.  Maybe I should do an interview with her and her brother, together. 🙂

Well – that’s my update for now.  So, until I know more….

Lately I have been thinking seriously of going to a therapist again. I have tried this a couple times in the past for various reasons. It hasn’t really been very successful for me. I was wondering – of any of my friends that read this blog…..have you ever seeked therapy and was it helpful or successful for you?
The first time I went – the therapist asked me what issue I was having and at the end basically just told me to get over it. It was very hurtful, because it was something that I was an issue that I was really trying to find a way to be OK with. The second time I went for something else and, it was to a different person and I didn’t really feel like I got anywhere with that either. He tried to teach me some breathing techniques, but in the end…..I still had the same issue.

SO – now I’m thinking about it again.  Just someone to talk to that doesn’t know me and that can help me just be a better person and deal with some internal issues.  I’ve searched online, but it’s really hard to tell from a website if you are going to “connect” with someone, and really, if in the long run, it’s going to help anyway.  It’s really hard to open up to someone and be truthful about yourself.

On another note – My walking has been sporadic.  I walked 3 or 4 times last week, I believe, but haven’t yet this week, though I plan on going tonight with my cousin, Alise.  I had a game she was wanting to borrow, so she asked if I wanted to meet and walk and I’ll give it to her then.  She is on a weight loss journey also, and has been going great.  Now I just need to get that game unburied AND remember to bring it tonight!!

I’ve been really fighting this week with letting myself get in a depressed mood.  I want to thank my sister for her shoulder/ear.  I’ve been doing good with cooking most nights.  (I’m trying)  Tommie and I do eat out a lot…..I just like going out to eat.  We’ve cut it down some though and I could really tell on our last credit card bill.  We still go out, just not as often. I still have a list of “to do’s” that I haven’t gotten up the “want” to do, but I’m working on it.

Well, not a lot to say, just checking in.  Thanks for reading.

So – my activity level has been low this summer.  I was doing really well before it got so hot!  I was meeting with my friend, Kerry, regularly and we were either walking at the park or working out at the community center.  THEN summer came and the tempreture’s were crazy hot and I just got lazy and stayed inside and did nothing.  It also didn’t help that my knee started to hurt and my hand/wrist started to hurt.  Sometimes it is hard to pull yourself out of that laziness!

Now the weather is nice and fall-like, perfect for getting out and walking in!  I’ve had a hard time finding the motivation to get started again.  Me and my lazy-nature.  My goal at the moment is supposed to be to walk at least 4 times a week.  I haven’t been.  BUT this week I’ve started out saying I’m going to start this now!  Yesterday I went and walked with my friend, Courtney.  I did about 2 miles, which is a good start for me.  My friend, Kerry, also said she’s up to starting back up also.  SO – now it’s just getting myself back on a schedule.

With the Courtney walks, those will happen if I can get myself up and started work by 7.  That does NOT happen very often, but maybe that will give me some motivation!  (Not so much this morning)  Ha ha.  Since I started later this morning, I’ll either walk with Kerry or by myself.  The hills in my neighborhood are a bit much for me for now, but hopefully at some point, I’ll just be able to walk around here.  That will be good.  Once it gets colder, I’m hoping I can motivate myself to get out and go to the community center to work out instead of trying to hibernate. 🙂

Courtney had WLS and was able to give me a sample of some of the protein shakes she drinks so I could “try out” some flavor’s and just get a taste of what I’ll be needing to drink.  I had my first one this morning.  She gave me like 5 flavors to try, and even gave me a nifty little cup to mix it in, from GNC. 😀  I decided to start with the pineapple/coconut one.  On my “pre-surgery” liquid diet, I’ll only be able to mix it with water, so I decided to try it that way.  I woke up really hungry (which I don’t always do), but decided to do the protein shake for my breakfast.  I mixed it up last night and put it in the fridge overnight.  Courtney had suggested that to me, and I think it was a good idea.  All the powder had dissolved and it was nice and cold.  I’m halfway through it and it’s not too bad.  I think this will be doable.

Well – I have my last Dietitian class scheduled for my Bariatric Surgery.  It will be on October 23rd.  It will be an hour and a half class and I believe they will be going over the protein shakes we’ll have to drink and the vitamin supplements we’ll need to take.  I think they will also go over the two week liquid diet we’ll be on before surgery, though I’m not sure.  After this last class, they will be able to proceed on getting the surgery approved by my insurance and then scheduling.  I’m unsure how long all that will take, but I know once it’s approved, it will be AT LEAST two weeks after, that they will schedule the surgery, because I will have to be on the liquid diet.  The purpose of that is to shrink the liver so it makes it easier to operate laparoscopily.

We closed on the refinancing today, on our house.  I’m so glad that is out of the way and over with!  So much paperwork!  We got a excellent rate though and took 5 years off our loan.  I’m happy with that.  Still have so much work I’d like to get done around the house.  It’s a very slow process.  Once I get done with some of the more important things, I’d LOVE to get our carpet pulled up and put down wood floors.  I wish landscaping wasn’t so expensive!  Our yard is so pathetic and needs work.

We had to pull out our passports this evening and as I was looking at them, I was getting a little wanderlust feeling inside!  We got them when we went on our cruise years and years ago.  It was the first year they required passports to get into Mexico and Canada, and even though the cruise ships didn’t require them yet, we went ahead and got them (wanting to travel abroad anyway).  Looking at it makes me really want to travel outside the country!!  The only place, outside the U.S. I have been is Mexico.  One day I will fulfill that wish!

This summer was SO HOT!  I’m really enjoying the cooler Fall-like weather.  I’m really needing to get back into the habit of walking though.  My current goal is to walk 4 times a week.  Not doing so hot with it at the moment.  I’m doing pretty good with the no soda….though I have had one here and there.  I’m not quite up to my 4 bottles of water a day though.  Most days it’s 2 bottles, sometimes 3.

Well, I didn’t really have TONS to talk about, just wanting to touch base and update on a few things.  Thanks for stopping by. 😀

For the past few years, I feel like I’ve lost my “zest” for life.

I used to have so many things I “loved” to do. Travel. Photography. Read. Go explore and see new things around the city or around the state. Go listen to bands. Visit with friends and laugh. Go to plays. Write and receive letters. Keep up with and send cards for people’s birthdays. Go to the movies.

I still do some of those things, but not with the same zest. I won’t go into detail as to why, because it’s more than one reason. I went into a depression (not clinical) several years ago and have had a hard time “snapping out of it”. I internalize a lot of things, so even though I express it at times, verbally, no one really knows how I’m feeling inside. Sometimes it comes out in little crying fits (which I know a few of you have witnessed), but otherwise, I just go over things in my head. When I have an issue with someone, I always have a hard time bringing it to them, so I just swallow it. There have been times where I feel like I’m an empath…..not literally…..but I DO tend to let the people that are around me feelings/mood effect my own.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not depressed all of the time – I just get in these “funks” every once in a while.  We all do – right??

My husband had recently taken the Briggs Myers test and shared his results with me. He is a very rare type of personality. I found a version and took it also. Ours are SO opposite. I do agree with what it said about both of us though. (In case you’re curious – Tommie is an INTJ and I am an ESFJ)

I’m a pretty sensitive person, though I try not to be. I sometimes wish I was as rational as my husband….but alas, I’m too much of an “emotional” creature. I continue to work on my well-being. Thank you for my friends and family who genuinely care and let me know, regularly. It means a lot to me. I’m pretty lucky to have some pretty great people in my life. Don’t know what I’d do without you! You get what you put out, so I really do try to make an effort to touch base every once in a while!

Well – Enough about that! I had my birthday this week. Another year closer to 40! (Ugh! Is it possible??) I chose to have dinner at my favorite type of restaurant. (Japanese Steakhouse) I figured I wanted to get that in before my surgery. It was really nice to have my loved one’s together. A few couldn’t make it, but I was happy with who I had there and missed the one’s who weren’t. I also got several calls from friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while, which was nice.

We’ve been working on refinancing the house and that is finally close to an end! So much paperwork and back and forth!! It seems like it’s taken several months, but we got an excellent rate and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Ha ha.  Will be cutting a little off our monthly payment, but not much, but am cutting 5 years off the loan and will now have a little less than 3% interest! Not bad, if you ask me.  I just got the call that we’ll be closing on Wednesday.  I’m SO ready!

SO anyway – guess I’ll go ahead and close this post.  Hang in with me – I’ll get there!  I have so many positives in my life, and things are looking UP. 🙂

Back from vacation!!

My favorite thing about vacation?  Spending time with my family.  It’s hard sometimes to have my family so spread out.  I think about how nice it would be to be able to be close to them all and be able to have my nieces and nephews close.  It’d be nice to be able to have Mom and Dad time whenever I wanted it or to have a sibling day out (or game night in) with my brother and sister.  It makes me sad, but I try not to dwell on it.  We all do find time, some how, to see each other every once in a while.

I have ALWAYS loved vacation.  I love to go and see new things and explore.  The past few years though, I have found myself not excited for vacation like I used to be though.  Guess you really want someone with you that is really excited about everything you do and is having fun – otherwise it can be a bit of a downer.  There are SO MANY places I’d still love to go and see and explore!  I’m hoping once I lose my weight I’m going to feel like doing a lot more.  I also hope Tommie is going to be up for it also.  I REALLY at some point want to take my first over-seas trip!

We stopped and spent a few night with my sister on the way to my parents house.  She is about half way.  It was nice to stop and see the family and spend time with the kids. 🙂  They grow up so fast!!  Tommie was able to rest, like he loves to do on vacation :), and I was able to help Billie with her Brownie Bridging ceremony. (not sure how much help I was, but a little…lol)

I got to see Susie bridge from Daisy’s to Brownies.  I also got to go out and eat lunch with Billie and the girls.  It was so funny, I met them at the Deli and when I walked in Jonna’s face lit up like she was surprised to see me (which I’m sure she knew I was coming.)….she said “Aunt Amy!!”  She said “I wish you lived here.”  I said “Yeah, me too.”  “I wish you lived upstairs at our house!”  Billie was like “Upstairs??  Where’d we put her?”  “Well, I wished you lived next door!”  Ha ha.  Cutie.

The girls are also always shy around Tommie, since he doesn’t always show his face much when they are around – and I can imagine how tall he looks to them!  Jonna is the one who usually brave enough to get close.  I told them he was afraid of THEM though and they were like “He’s afraid of us?!?!?”  Then they kept telling him, “I’m getting closer!” until they were up right in his face, with him acting afraid.  It was cute and funny. 🙂

Next we arrived at my parents house.  It was our first time visiting since they moved to Baltimore.  I hadn’t planned anything for this vacation.  My motivation really wasn’t there.  All I knew was that I wanted to see my parents.  Nothing else mattered all that much.  I was hoping that my parents would just show us what they thought we’d want to see, which they did.  My Dad was even able to get one day off of work while we were there.  One thing we noticed was how HUMID it was in Baltimore, compared to Kansas City!  (and I thought Kansas City was humid!!)  You walk outside, and even if it’s not all that hot, we were just drenched in sweat – and I don’t really sweat a lot.  Mom and Dad, I guess, were used to it, because they didn’t seem to notice all that much.  To us, the air was thick with it.

I DID enjoy seeing what we saw though.  Baltimore is a very old city….and you can tell.  Saw row-houses for the first time (outside of TV).  I asked Mom what the difference between a row-house and a townhouse is.  One thing I found interesting, she said in row houses, each person is responsible for their own repairs (including roofs), so you’ll see a row of row-houses with different types of roofs across!  She said a lot of them had the kitchens in the basement also – since it’s cooler down there.  Another things I learned while there was that the author – Edgar Allen Poe lived and died there.  I didn’t make it to his house or grave, but maybe next time.  I don’t know why when I think of him, I thought he was from Europe!  That is where the Baltimore Raven’s get their name from!  (His book – The Raven)  So – that was interesting. 🙂

We saw a lot of other interesting things also, but I’m sure you don’t want me to go through it all. 🙂  I also have a short list of things I’d like to do next time we’re that way and when I have a bit more energy!

We are refinancing our house and who knew it’d be such a pain!!  Just lots of back and forth’s with the mortgage company – so much paper work I’ve had to get together.  We are towards the end of it, but the communication with the company has been a challenge.  Have to try several times to get a response.  They say they are busy.  Currently we’re waiting for them to get verification of current employment for us, before we can sign the closing papers.  I was like “What?  Our paycheck stubs weren’t enough??”  “No, we need to have your HR depts fill out paperwork verifying that you’re currently employed.”  Ugh – really??  So the latest hang up is that they’ve sent the paperwork to Tommie’s work and was supposed to get it right back and didn’t have left several message with no answer and my job requires them to go to a website and pay $50 for verification.  Sigh.  SO – hopefully we can get this all behind us soon, because I’m sorta tired of going back and forth with everyone.

Well – I’m on my lunch break and it’s time to get back to work, so I’ll go ahead and post this.  Leave me a comment if you like. 😀

It’s been a super busy week!  Week leading up to vacation.

Luckily I had cancel one of my doctor’s appointments this week, otherwise I would’ve been going down to the Plaza three days in a row for appointments.

Tuesday was my Psych Evaluation I had to have prior to my surgery.  I was hoping there would be regular counseling through the process, but it seems as though they evaluate you and then if you don’t seem like you have anything that concerns them too much, that’s it.

Wednesday night I went to Support Group.  You are required to attend one of these before surgery.  I was not expecting there to be too many people there and was surprised that when I got there, there were like two seats available!  (and a whole stream of people coming in behind me)  The nurse commented that they have NEVER had that big of a turn out.  They had to bring in DOUBLE the chairs that were in there.  I doubt many more people would be able to fit in that room!  It was really interesting though to hear people talk about how much they had lost and issues that they had or solved by having the surgery.  I think I will try to go back to some of these after I have my surgery.  Of coarse I could relate to a lot of what they were all saying.

I have so much to do before we leave and am REALLY going to need the time away.  I’m going to TRY MY BEST to leave my stress behind and not think about it.  (wish me luck with that!)  I really can’t wait to see my family.  Only thing missing will be my brother and his family. 🙁  Wish they weren’t so out of the way.

Well, didn’t really have much time to write tonight.  I’m in office tomorrow and it’s going to be a long day, so I’m going to go ahead and go to bed.  Maybe read my book a little before falling asleep.

Thanks for reading. 😀

Vacation starts one week from today!  It’s much needed, but also stressful to think of being off work that long and all the work I’ll come back to.

I have a very full week leading up to vacation!  I DID have a doctor appt scheduled for Monday, but will need to call first thing on Monday to cancel it, since something came up.  Then Tuesday, I have my Psychiatric Evaluation that is required before the Bariatric surgery.  I’m looking forward to that to see what it’s all about and how much help it might be.  Also to see if it will be a one time visit or an ongoing thing if wanted.  Wednesday I’ll attend a support group meeting, which is another requirement.  I’m looking forward to that too and hearing other people’s stories.

I received a call from one of my best friends (I have many best friends – lol) last night that made me sad.  He has been dealing with an illness for a long time now (like 15 years) and lately it’s gotten worse and I really worry about him. 🙁  I’m not ready to lose him to it, so I’m hoping he’ll be able to rest up and get it under control.  He’s having to move back home to get things in order.

I took photos for some friends last weekend and this weekend.  It’s something I enjoy doing, but for several years now, I feel like I’ve lost my “creativeness” when it comes to it.  I’m really hoping to find it again one day!!  It comes and goes in spurts.  I do usually end up with some pictures I really like though when I do the photo sessions with people.  I have so many photo editing software also that I like to play around with.  My favorite at the moment is Lightroom!  It’s so fun!  I just wish I was more knowledgeable on how to use everything in it and also in Photoshop.  I sometimes look at the video’s on YouTube.  *Watch* *Pause* *Edit* *Watch* *Pause* *Edit*.  🙂  I just learn more by being SHOWN how to do something rather than READING about it.  I have a hard time getting it to sink into my thick skull. 🙂

In the past week we had a tree fall in the back yard.  We were very lucky that it didn’t hit the house or any of the neighbor’s fences.  It fell perfectly.  It split through the trunk about 5 feet up.  So strange!  I’m assuming from it being so dry for so long, but I’m not really sure.  Our house has been settling also, so much that we’re having cracks in the foyer wall and ceiling and having a hard time getting the deadbolt open.  Our family friend, Dan, came over and got it where we could unlock the door and he’s cut up the tree and will haul off the branches next weekend, but already the lock on the door is sticking again.  It really has me worried.  We’ve started to water around the house, but we are just having issues!  I’m really afraid of how much this problem will be if it ends up being more than just the drought.

For vacation, we are taking two weeks off work.  We’re heading out Saturday and will spend the first two nights with my sister and I’ll enjoy spending time with her and her family.  Then we’ll head out into uncharted territory. A part of the U.S. that I haven’t been before.  I’m looking forward to seeing some new things.  At the end of our journey are my parents, in Baltimore Maryland.  I’m really looking forward to seeing them and spending time with them.  While I’m gone I have several people taking care of the house and cats.  They’ll all be rotating in and out here. 🙂  I know our cats are going to miss us.

SO – this is just going to be a very stressful week trying to fit in appointments, get as much done at work as I can and getting all the stuff prepared for the trip.  Hoping I’ll be able to just leave it behind and not think about it in a week. 🙂