Funny how the slightest comment or gesture can just make you feel so low when your confidence is already near the bottom. Confidence is something that has never been in abundance in me. It can make me very annoying to someone with a lot of it. It might be why some of my best friends in life have been the bold, confident types. I always felt comfortable being able to stand behind them and let them sort of shield and protect me and take over situations.
Today something that was meant as a joke just set me off. I guess it was just enough to touch on things that I was feeling bad about and I, as usual, I took it personal. But what do I do when that happens? I don’t confront it. I go to a corner and cry it out and bottle it up. It’s just what I do. Then come here and vent. Haha. There’s a lot of things that I keep to myself, because I’m just too ashamed to admit to them or don’t even want to acknowledge them to myself, let alone others. I’m know I’m being vague, but I just wanted to get out that I’m hurting without being ready to say why. Guess that’s no different that those annoying vauge facebook statuses that people put up that get people asking “What’s wrong?” “What happened?” “Oh, I’ll pray for you.” We’ll just leave it at me being touchy and not able to take a joke.
Anyway – On to weight loss update. After being stuck for so long, I figured it was because I was pretty much in a routine and thought it might be good to change something to maybe get the weight loss started again. So, this week I decided to try to go back to doing a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and then a normal dinner. Well, since I started on Monday I have lost 8 lbs. Not bad! I’m nearing my lowest weight. I’m assuming by tomorrow I’ll reach it. BUT then I’m going back on normal food. I’m not sure how much I’ll gain when I’m on vacation. I do know, though, I plan to enjoy myself and when I get back, maybe I’ll have to go back on the protein shakes. It does seem to take a little energy out of me. Shortly after I get back I’ll have my follow up appointment, which I talked about in my last post.
We’ve had a little lull between races this month. In September though it seems like we have one almost every weekend, with a 10K thrown in there that Tommie wanted to do. We have ONE this month, but it’s an untimed one. I think next year, I’m not going to do any of the color type runs. I haven’t enjoyed them as much this year. We tend to like doing the timed races and those are usually not timed, just lean more towards the fun side of it. As we do more races, we’ve picked out what we like about the one’s we do and look for one’s that have what we enjoy in them.
Well, I’m going to be really busy this weekend with visiting and getting things ready for my trip. Lots to fit in. SO – just wanted to make a quick entry before I left.