I feel like I’m falling apart.  If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.  I hate to be one that constantly complains though.  Sometimes I feel like I complain too much to the person who is around me the most….my husband.

The past few weeks, the new symptoms I’m having is just a constant ache/pain mostly in my hands.  The severity comes and goes, but it’s always there.  At first I thought it was my joints, because I felt like maybe I was getting arthritis or something, but the more I experience it, it doesn’t feel like my joints.  There was a point at first where one of my joints in my ring finger was tender to the touch and felt like it was swollen a bit, but it is feeling less tender now.  The pain is sort of hard to explain.  It hurts to ball my hands into fists, or wad a piece of paper up.  It doesn’t seem to stop me from doing anything, I just carry around the ache.  I also have it in one of my shoulders.  There was one day this weekend when it seemed to be worse that even my teeth on one side of my mouth hurt.

So anyway.  I had mentioned it to my Dr last time I was in, but that was amongst the other things that I was telling him about (has been an eventful couple of months when it comes to my health), so he didn’t really follow up on that one, but the few days after I saw him, it continued to bother me and get worse, so I emailed him to see what type of specialist I should see (since most family Dr’s seem to just send you to specialists when something is wrong), but he ordered some blood work for me.  I go to get that taken tomorrow.  He didn’t say what he was checking for in the email, so I guess we’ll see when I get the results.  My luck with most things that are wrong with me, is that it will all come back normal.  Which is comforting that they don’t find anything wrong, but also frustrating, because I know what I feel.

I have a history of symptoms with clear tests.  Started with my stomach issues which the episodes cause me extreme pain, belching and throwing up, amongst other things.  I’ve had scopes, and colonoscopies and even swallowed a camera that went through my digestive track, which all came back clear.  I had my gall bladder out and took a pill regimen to rid myself of Helicobacter bacteria in my stomach,  even had an XRay taken AS I was having an episode. Still I have episodes from time to time that they have no idea what brings them on.

Next is my knee.  It has been bothering me for over a year.  It started with popping every time I straightened it.  It catches when I get up and sometimes I have to bend it back and turn it a bit to straighten it out without it catching.  I had an XRay and even and MRI.  What did it show?  Nothing!  All clear!  Says arthritis has set in, but that’s it.  Feels like more to me.  Though, now after a long day of getting up and down from chairs, it gets really sore and burns.  I need to go get a 2nd opinion on it, just haven’t yet.

I’m really tired and exhausted at the moment, but I just laid there and laid there and couldn’t sleep, so thought I’d get up and try to get this out of my head to see if it would make me sleep better.  Just laying there worrying about my aching hands and what is wrong with me.  Why my body hates me so!  Tomorrow I will go to the dermatologist to find out about a strange spot/rash on my leg and then to get blood taken.  I’ll be working late to make up my time tomorrow night.

OK!  Now that I got that all out!  My goal is to stop whining about my pain!  If I complain about it, just remind me that I wasn’t going to whine.