Sorry it has been a while since I have written on here.  I just don’t seem to have much to blog about.  There are some things I’d LOVE to vent about, but it might be unfair to some to have me air it, so I keep it inside.

SO – For the past several months, my endocrinologist has been messing with my thyroid medicine to try to get me on the right dose.  In the meanwhile, my weight has been going up.  If you know me, you know I’m already at my limit.  The gain has caused me some other issues that have popped up.  It’s really gotten me down and feeling discouraged.

I have never wanted to in the past, but I’m getting to a point where I’m considering some type of surgery to help me.  I’m a yo-yo dieter.  I have been up and down in my weight and have tried several different diets.  I do well, while I’m focused, but always end up reverting back to my old ways.

I work for a hospital and every month they have free seminar’s talking about the options they offer at the Bariatric Center.  The surgeries have become more common place these days.  I know several people who have had them.  Most of the people have wonderful results.  A few, I’ve seen gain back some that they lost, but never to where they were before the surgery.  I’ve went to several people that I know personally that have had the surgeries/procedures and talked to them about their thoughts and feelings on it and what it was like.  For the most part, I get positive feed back.  There are three different options, as I see it.  The Lap Band, The Gastric Bypass and The Sleeve.

Thursday I’m going to go to the seminar.  I’ve asked my husband to go with me.  I’m lucky to have a husband that supports me in whatever I choose to do.  He loves me either big or small. 🙂  Before listening to what they have to say, I’m leaning towards The Sleeve.  It just seems like it is the least invasive surgery.  I’m not really interested in the lap band.  I would MAYBE consider the bypass, but I’d have to definitely talk to my Doctor about it.  I’ve had stomach issues in the past that the doctor’s have never been able to figure out the cause of, and I’m just afraid if I start to re-route things that it wouldn’t be good for me, but as my cousin’s wife pointed out today, it might fix it!  SO, you never know.  I’ll bring up everything to the Dr if I decide to proceed and see what their opinion is.  I’m also curious to see if they offer counseling.  I think it’d be SO good to be able to talk to someone through the process.  I know a lot of issues are mental.

From the few people I’ve talked to, they weren’t aware of counseling, but said there were support groups you could attend for people going through the process.  I would be going into this knowing it’s not a fix all.  It will change everything though!  My Grandma has made a comment in the past that I’m so stubborn that she knows I can do it.  It is true, once I can get myself focused, I can usually accomplish it, but it’s just getting myself to that point that is hard for me.  Even more so to stay there.

I know I need to lose.  I don’t “care” about being skinny, necessarily, but I DO want to be a lot smaller than I currently am.  The reasons I want to be smaller are: I want to be able to be active and not worry about my joints hurting from supporting my weight.  I want to have to not worry if I can fit into a booth at a restaurant.  I want to be able to go to an amusement park and fit on the rides.  I want to be able to go on a plane and not have to worry about having a seat belt extender.  I don’t want little kids to ask me why I’m fat.  I’d like to travel internationally, but worried stuff I want to do won’t be “fat friendly”.  People are just mean to overweight people.  Not everyone, but a lot of people are really insensitive to it.  Lastly, I want to stop hearing my family members tell me they are worried about me constantly.

So, wish me luck in making the right decision.