motivation wordle

This year I’ve slowed down and I haven’t picked back up.  I suppose it was bound to happen at some point.  I’m just having a hard time finding my motivation.  I’ve had a couple half attempts to be better.

Tommie and I have let the weather be our excuse this summer.  First it was too rainy, then it was too hot.  Now that the fall weather should be here soon, it’s time to get back into the groove after getting so comfortable in the excuse zone.

I have steadily gained the past few months.  Not a HUGE gain, but a gain, none the less.  Now I’m working on losing what I’ve gained.  I had a strong start to my week, but have hit a few bumps in the road.  Each day is a new day.

Something that has really been bothering me lately is head hunger.  Just a constant feeling that I need to snack.  I get it in my head that I’m hungry and look around and grab something.  I don’t snack on things that are horrible, it’s just that I do too much of it.  On my current setting in MFP (the program I use to track my food), I’m allowed 1410 calories a day.  It really doesn’t take much to get over that if I’m snacking.  I also find myself wanting to just stop tracking all together for the day if I hit that maximum number.  It’s like I think – WELL – I’m over – if I eat any more – I don’t even want to know HOW MUCH more over I’m going to be.  The program has done a lot to help me keep things in perspective most days though.  It makes me think about what I want to eat and what I don’t.  Sometimes I’ll plug in something I’m thinking of having and if I see it’s a TON of calories, I’ll rethink what I want to eat.  It’s a great tool – if used.

Last year I asked my endocrinologist for a prescription to help my head hunger.  She prescribed me Phentermine.  That is an amazing drug!  You take this pill and it REALLY DOES change your thought pattern!  It’s like it makes you really happy and food is put in the background.  When I was on that – I’d just smile to myself and think “I’m really happy right now!”  I wouldn’t think about snacking.  It’d make me want to drink more (which is also important) and it would boost my energy.  It made me think “Is that what a normal person feels like??”  BUT the down thing about it is that your body adjusts to it and then it becomes ineffective.  So once it’s not working any more, the Dr takes you off of it.  While on it, you also have to go in every month for her to check how you’re doing.  In the future, I might ask to try it again.

In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about trying some other things in hope to get a similar result.  I’ve thought about trying the It Works products.  I’ve known some people who have used them and liked them.  I’m going to give it a try.  I know there is no miracle drug or diet.  It’s all about discipline.  Human’s are always looking for easy things to help them along the way.  I suppose it’s human nature.  This week I’m to try to get back on track. I’ve been trying to go back to having a protein drink for breakfast, a light lunch and then a normal dinner.  I’ve been TRYING to cut down on the snacking also.  I’ve lost this week, but need to get it to continue in that direction.  I’ve also been trying to get in my daily steps, which I’ve been slacking on lately.  I’ve had some stumbles getting back into it, but I’m getting better!

Next week I’d like to work up to a protein shake for breakfast AND lunch and if I feel the need to snack – to be able to just have a yogurt.  Then have a regular dinner.  I’ve put in my order for a new tub of protein shake.  (I’m almost out of my current tub)  I use Bariatric Fusion’s Cinnamon Bun flavor.  It’s really good and makes me not mind it so much.  Tommie has told me he’ll do it along with me.  He’s always been a great support system.

I know I have told a few people – but on October 14th I’m having tummy tuck surgery.  It’s something I’ve wanted for a while.  It’s not going to make me super skinny – it’s just going to take care of some problem issues I have.  I’ll be getting a FDL cut, so I’ll have a scar from hip to hip and up the center of my abdomen (to right below my breasts).  It’s an outpatient procedure, so I go home same day.  That seems CRAZY to me, since it’s a cut you open surgery!  BUT it’s out of pocket and it’s a way to save money I suppose.  I’ll be sent home with drains and everything.  It’s going to be painful.  I’m hoping with results though that I’ll be more comfortable wearing clothes that fit.  Tommie is not a fan of me getting the surgery – since he frowns on surgery that isn’t’ medically necessary – just because of all the complications that could happen, but despite that, he’ll be fully supportive of my decision and me.  I’ve asked my Mom to come to help out right afterwards.  Tommie will take off the day of surgery and be working from home if I need him, but I’ll feel better having my Mom there also.  She’ll stay a week.  I plan to just take 2 weeks off work.  I’m hoping that will be enough.  This is also just part one of the surgery I’m wanting.  The second half will have to wait for at least 4 months for this one to heal up (and will probably be longer than that – to save up money for it), but the other part that I’m planning on having done is the upper arm and thigh lift.  I have a lot of sagging skin and especially the arms – makes me VERY self conscious.  Especially when I’m doing something that I have to have my arm out and I can see my skin flapping along out of the corner of my eye.  Again – Tommie tells me – “No one notices that.”  But just because HE doesn’t, doesn’t mean that no one notices it.  It would make me feel better to get it taken care of and to not have it distracting me and to be able to wear a sleeveless shirt and feel comfortable.  So anyway – that is the plan for me.  I don’t know if anyone will even be able to tell a difference from before and after with my clothes on – I probably won’t look all that different, but underneath and the way my clothes hang – will make a HUGE difference to me.

Well, that is my update for now.  I don’t want this to get too long – it already may be!

Until next time……

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