I realize that it’s been over a year now since I made my last post on here.  I’m hoping to change that and keep this updated regularly.  I’m wanting to spend less time posting on Facebook and more time posting here.  (We’ll see how long that lasts!)

I had my plastic surgery over a year ago now, and it wasn’t a bad recovery, but sort of slow to just get to feeling 100%.  I never did get my energy back to where it was.  I think it was just that the surgery made me lose my momentum, and I never got it back.

Last year I DID make the commitment to do at least 1 race a month.  I ended up meeting that goal, but the in between times – I didn’t do much extra.  Tommie wasn’t into riding bikes last year and we just weren’t that “into” much of anything.  Then when this winter hit……let’s just say the winter depression is hitting me hard this year.  I’m having a hard time working up any desire to do ANYTHING.

It’s been like a vicious cycle with me.  I’ve gained weight and when I look at myself I get so mad at myself, and tell myself I need to get my control back, but then what do I do?  I stress eat.  (It’s a fat girl thing)

There is a 2nd surgery I need to have, but I refuse to let myself get it until I lose my weight again.  In the meantime – I’ll just feel awkward and mad at myself, and hopefully get back on the right track!

One step I have made in the right direction is that I found a gym to join.  Tommie and I joined the gym at North Kansas City Hospital.  I’ve been needing to get back to strength training.  I can do cardio without a gym, but I needed the gym for the toning and muscle strength.  I think I’m going to hire a personal trainer at least for one 6 session set.  Just to get myself on a routine that I can maintain on my own.  I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing when I’m in there.  Tommie has been strictly been doing cardio, but I’m wanting to do more than that.  So I’ve put in a request for a trainer to get in touch with me to set that up.  With the depression – I’m having to MAKE myself go.  I don’t feel like going.  It’s a good thing that I have Tommie, who pushes us to go at the moment.

Well – This was just a post to try to get me back on track to posting again.  I’ll make more posts at a later time.  For now I’m going to go read my book some.

Thanks for stopping by.

It’s been a while since I made a blog post.  I’ve tried starting a post here and there, but always end up trashing it.  Sometimes when you have skipped so much – it’s hard to know where to start and what to just skip over.

I had my abdominoplasty surgery on October 13th.  Some people might want to know why I didn’t wait until I was at my goal weight before having it done.  Well – I lost about 120 lbs and had been stuck at the same weight for about a year.  My ultimate goal isn’t to be super skinny – though yes, that would be nice.  I’m just not that disciplined!  My goal was just to be “normal”.  I know that means different things to different people.  I wanted to at least wear an XL and be able to shop in a normal store.  With the weight I was at – from where I came from…my surgeon told me I didn’t need to lost any more for him to do the surgery.  He DID want me to have realistic expectations though.  He told me, with me being the size I was, I would still be “thick”.  There were three area’s of the abdomen that bothered me the most.  Of the three – he was able to remove two of them.  The third area – I still hate, but he warned me beforehand that I would still probably hate it.  With the other two area’s gone/taken care of though – it has been a big leap towards me feeling more “normal”.  The third area that I hated was my “middle roll”.  He was not able to remove the fat there to make it more “flat” because of blood flow issues.  It’s something I can go back and have done at a later date….but for now – I just have to deal with the roll sticking out and looking bad.

(picture above was taken week after my surgery – I still have the binder holding me all in)

I might not look that different to people, because I did my best to try to cover myself the best I could and not show the belly I had hanging down.  There are a few pics you can see it in.  I get to see the biggest results, myself, when I go to change my clothes.  If I catch myself in front of the mirror, I still take a pause and just smile over the big change.  Yes, I have scars.  Yes, I don’t have a belly button any more (he wasn’t able to save it).  But over all, I’m happy with the difference he was able to make.  I still have area’s that need to be done, but I’m happy to have the first step behind me.

I really wanted to be able to wear a “fitted” shirt after surgery, and I still can’t do that.  Also – I have issues with pants now.  This issue is that pants that fit in the waist, I can’t get over my thighs, because I still have fat girl thighs.  Even though I’ve spent the past few years walking and running and riding bikes, my legs are still fat.  My thighs and calves both.  My thighs show signs of lost weight (they wrinkle and have hanging skin on them), but they are still full of cellulite and huge.  Same with my arms.  I have to stuff my arms into shirt sleeves like sausages.  My next thing I need done is my upper arm lift and thigh lift (which i’m most afraid of).  They leave nasty scars, but if it will help me be able to wear clothes better, it’ll be worth it.

Tommie disagrees with all my plastic surgery.  (He calls it recreational surgery)  BUT I’m lucky that he supports me, no matter what I decide.  I know his disapproval is out of fear of something happening to me.  He doesn’t like that I put myself at risk for something he sees as unnecessary.  I have my own reasons for doing it though, and they are for myself.

I feel like I did will with recovery.  My Mom came the first week of recovery and that was a life saver!  I really needed her here and she did a great job helping me out.  I feel like my scars have healed nicely.  I still have horrible swelling when I am too active, but I hear that is normal and will probably be like that for a while.

The day before yesterday, I was laying on my side and felt a “POP” and had a sharp pain.  It wasn’t on any of my incision lines. I emailed the surgeon pointing at the area asking him if he thought it was a muscle repair stitch that came undone.  He seemed to think it seemed to be a bit high for that and thought it was probably scar tissue that popped and that it was good.  Sure scared me!

It’s been very hard for me to get back in the habit of food and exercise now that I’m out of the habit.  I’m going to have to find the motivation though.  Our next 5K is at the end of January and I’m going to feel like I’m dying!  I have one month to try to get my activity level back up.  Wish me luck!  Winter has been having me want to be in hibernation mode!  Eat up all the food around me, and crawl in bed until Spring!

This year I’ve slowed down and I haven’t picked back up.  I suppose it was bound to happen at some point.  I’m just having a hard time finding my motivation.  I’ve had a couple half attempts to be better.

Tommie and I have let the weather be our excuse this summer.  First it was too rainy, then it was too hot.  Now that the fall weather should be here soon, it’s time to get back into the groove after getting so comfortable in the excuse zone.

I have steadily gained the past few months.  Not a HUGE gain, but a gain, none the less.  Now I’m working on losing what I’ve gained.  I had a strong start to my week, but have hit a few bumps in the road.  Each day is a new day.

Something that has really been bothering me lately is head hunger.  Just a constant feeling that I need to snack.  I get it in my head that I’m hungry and look around and grab something.  I don’t snack on things that are horrible, it’s just that I do too much of it.  On my current setting in MFP (the program I use to track my food), I’m allowed 1410 calories a day.  It really doesn’t take much to get over that if I’m snacking.  I also find myself wanting to just stop tracking all together for the day if I hit that maximum number.  It’s like I think – WELL – I’m over – if I eat any more – I don’t even want to know HOW MUCH more over I’m going to be.  The program has done a lot to help me keep things in perspective most days though.  It makes me think about what I want to eat and what I don’t.  Sometimes I’ll plug in something I’m thinking of having and if I see it’s a TON of calories, I’ll rethink what I want to eat.  It’s a great tool – if used.

Last year I asked my endocrinologist for a prescription to help my head hunger.  She prescribed me Phentermine.  That is an amazing drug!  You take this pill and it REALLY DOES change your thought pattern!  It’s like it makes you really happy and food is put in the background.  When I was on that – I’d just smile to myself and think “I’m really happy right now!”  I wouldn’t think about snacking.  It’d make me want to drink more (which is also important) and it would boost my energy.  It made me think “Is that what a normal person feels like??”  BUT the down thing about it is that your body adjusts to it and then it becomes ineffective.  So once it’s not working any more, the Dr takes you off of it.  While on it, you also have to go in every month for her to check how you’re doing.  In the future, I might ask to try it again.

In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about trying some other things in hope to get a similar result.  I’ve thought about trying the It Works products.  I’ve known some people who have used them and liked them.  I’m going to give it a try.  I know there is no miracle drug or diet.  It’s all about discipline.  Human’s are always looking for easy things to help them along the way.  I suppose it’s human nature.  This week I’m to try to get back on track. I’ve been trying to go back to having a protein drink for breakfast, a light lunch and then a normal dinner.  I’ve been TRYING to cut down on the snacking also.  I’ve lost this week, but need to get it to continue in that direction.  I’ve also been trying to get in my daily steps, which I’ve been slacking on lately.  I’ve had some stumbles getting back into it, but I’m getting better!

Next week I’d like to work up to a protein shake for breakfast AND lunch and if I feel the need to snack – to be able to just have a yogurt.  Then have a regular dinner.  I’ve put in my order for a new tub of protein shake.  (I’m almost out of my current tub)  I use Bariatric Fusion’s Cinnamon Bun flavor.  It’s really good and makes me not mind it so much.  Tommie has told me he’ll do it along with me.  He’s always been a great support system.

I know I have told a few people – but on October 14th I’m having tummy tuck surgery.  It’s something I’ve wanted for a while.  It’s not going to make me super skinny – it’s just going to take care of some problem issues I have.  I’ll be getting a FDL cut, so I’ll have a scar from hip to hip and up the center of my abdomen (to right below my breasts).  It’s an outpatient procedure, so I go home same day.  That seems CRAZY to me, since it’s a cut you open surgery!  BUT it’s out of pocket and it’s a way to save money I suppose.  I’ll be sent home with drains and everything.  It’s going to be painful.  I’m hoping with results though that I’ll be more comfortable wearing clothes that fit.  Tommie is not a fan of me getting the surgery – since he frowns on surgery that isn’t’ medically necessary – just because of all the complications that could happen, but despite that, he’ll be fully supportive of my decision and me.  I’ve asked my Mom to come to help out right afterwards.  Tommie will take off the day of surgery and be working from home if I need him, but I’ll feel better having my Mom there also.  She’ll stay a week.  I plan to just take 2 weeks off work.  I’m hoping that will be enough.  This is also just part one of the surgery I’m wanting.  The second half will have to wait for at least 4 months for this one to heal up (and will probably be longer than that – to save up money for it), but the other part that I’m planning on having done is the upper arm and thigh lift.  I have a lot of sagging skin and especially the arms – makes me VERY self conscious.  Especially when I’m doing something that I have to have my arm out and I can see my skin flapping along out of the corner of my eye.  Again – Tommie tells me – “No one notices that.”  But just because HE doesn’t, doesn’t mean that no one notices it.  It would make me feel better to get it taken care of and to not have it distracting me and to be able to wear a sleeveless shirt and feel comfortable.  So anyway – that is the plan for me.  I don’t know if anyone will even be able to tell a difference from before and after with my clothes on – I probably won’t look all that different, but underneath and the way my clothes hang – will make a HUGE difference to me.

Well, that is my update for now.  I don’t want this to get too long – it already may be!

Until next time……

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve made a blog post.

I don’t think I should try to put EVERYTHING in one post or I’l overwhelm you and you’ll lose interest.  I don’t even know where to start!

There were things that I wanted to blog about, but I didn’t even know where to start or what to write about it.  First thing, I suppose, was losing my Aunt this year.  It all seemed to happen so fast!  She got her diagnosis around September of this past year.  She had been feeling run down for a while, but they kept diagnosing her individual symptoms and not seeing the bigger picture.  She finally got the correct diagnosis when she went to the E.R. right before she was supposed to take a trip to see my Mom (her sister).  Ends up she had Autoimmune Hepatitis.  They told her this wasn’t something she contracted and there was nothing she could’ve really done to prevent it.  It just happens.  The result was that it ended up damaging her liver and by the time she was diagnosed she was in stage four cirrhosis and needed a liver transplant.  She didn’t have good insurance and I think because of that she wasn’t given the best of care.  (in my personal opinion)  By the time she was put in ICU and able to be put on the transplant list, it was just too late.  She went in the hospital in mid December and never left.  She passed away a month later.  It was very hard, esp. on her only daughter, my cousin, Melissa.  She and her Mom were always very close.  This was the second sibling that my mom has lost (not counting the one that was stillborn), and I know this was very hard on her siblings and Mom too.  She kept her humor throughout it all and held on as long as she could.  She showed a LOT of strength, but in the end, it was just too much.  Her daughter is putting together a team to do the liver walk in her memory this coming September.  It’s not a timed race or anything, it’s just to raise money and awareness and we’ll be walking in her memory,and raising money for the American Liver Foundation.  If you’d like to join our team and walk with us, or just simply donate in Nancy’s Memory – here is my donation page.  There is a link on there for the team page too, which is “Be Brave – In Memory of Nancy”.  Join us!  It’s in Parkville on Sept 12th, 10am at English Landing Park.

One of the few last pictures I have with my Aunt:

On another note – I had a new niece that was born last year, and with everything going on, I hadn’t been able to plan a trip to go see her, so finally in March, I was able to plan a trip to Florida.  I went by myself and it was SO nice to be able to see the kids and spend quality time with my brother and his family.  Last time I was in Florida I had gone to Universal Studios with my sister and brother and, sadly, could hardly fit on any of the rides.  It was very depressing for me….thought I truly enjoyed the time I got to spend with them that day!  I pushed myself so hard, that by the end of that day, I had several blood blisters no my feet and legs.  This time, I was really looking forward to a rematch.  My brother agreed to go with me and he and I went to the park again and I was able to ride every ride I wanted to ride!  I had a great time.  My cousin, Scott, also graciously gave me family passes to SeaWorld and Jesse, Lucas and I got to spend the day there also.  We got to ride the roller coaster there, which was amazing!  We also go to see my cousin’s wife, Kathleen, when she brought out her animals for us to pet!  That is always my favorite part!  Getting to interact directly with animals!  I was really hoping to meet with several people while I was in town, but illness prevented it.  There were a lot of summer colds going around and it’s not a good idea to bring a newborn around illness, so that didn’t work out.  Hopefully next go around I’ll be able to meet up with my Aunt and Uncle and Cousins, etc.  I feel VERY fortune that this past year I got to take three trips to see all my spread out immediate family. 🙂

Well, that’s as brief as I can make it for now.  Next post I’ll try to post about my weight loss journey some.  There are a few new things there I have to talk about, but I’ll spread out my posts a bit.  Just wanted to touch base for now, really.

Well, Tommie and I completed our last run of the year!  We doubled the number of runs we did this year from what we did last year!  We ended up doing Fifteen 5K’s each (I’m not counting the one I didn’t finish) and Two 10K’s (one of which was virtual – but we still did it).  Not sure if we’ll do as many next year or not.  It is something we enjoy doing though, and having done two years of it now. We know what we like in a race, so we look out for those details when choosing which one’s to do.  There are also a few that we know we’d like to repeat yearly.

Is it strange that we’re considering doing a race when we take vacation this year?  I think my goal for next year is to AT LEAST do one race a month.  I have already signed up for one in January.  It’ll be inside.  February is usually the coldest month here in Kansas City and I dread to think of doing another race in close to freezing (or below freezing) weather – though we HAVE done that on more than one occasion!  This year we were wanting to go back some place warm (probably Arizona) for vacation in February, and Tommie was in agreement to look for a race for when we’d be there to do.  It’s just an early morning activity to add to our itinerary, and it’d be in warm weather!  It will all depend on how early we can plan our trip and if we meet the deadline for race sign up.

So, my last post I spoke about some odd blood results I had with the Dr.’s office.  I went in and had my blood retaken and sent to the lab in California.  I waited two weeks and still hadn’t heard back from the Dr.  (trying not to think about them scaring me with the news that my blood work was very odd and tested positive for tumor markers after all these years).  When I finally tried to get back in touch with them to see if they had gotten the results back, the nurse tried to track them down and called me back saying that the Dr. remembered them coming across her desk and that they were normal, but she was embarrassed to say she couldn’t locate them.  So she ended up having to call the lab and have them re-fax them.  I requested a copy be mailed to me.  I got them in the mail today confirming that the blood test was negative this time.  I’m not sure why the first one was showing positive, but it’s good news.

Our dishwasher has started to leak.  It’s only about a year and a half old, which is so annoying.  That means it’s right after the limited warranty has expired.  Tommie has been hand washing dishes and we’ll see if we can contact a repair person after the holidays.  We had Dan come and look at it and he said that pump was leaking, so I think that part will need to be ordered and replaced.  We’ll see how much it is and if we can repair or just buy another.  Hopefully it’ll just be cheap enough to repair easily.  I never did locate my receipt for the dishwasher.  I always keep receipts for the big items we buy and I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it.  (I did find when we bought it by searching my credit card though)  In the new year my resolution is going to be to try to get more organized.  One step I’m taking towards this is that Tommie has ordered a receipt scanner and we bought a nice cross cut shredder.  I’ll be tackling our office and going through all the paperwork I have in there and scanning the important things and organizing them and backing them up online and shredding all the old paperwork that is outdated and we don’t need any more.  I’m looking forward to get ridding of some things.  I wish I had a whole room I could set aside just to go through and organize all the photos I have!

Once things slow down, I’m also going to be planning a trip to Florida to see my new niece.  SO looking forward to seeing her and Lucas and Jesse and Jen!  I’m hoping Jesse will be able to go with me to an amusement park while I’m out there too.  Last time I went and we went to the amusement parks, I couldn’t fit on a lot of the rides and it was sort of depressing.  I’d like to give it another go now that I can!  I really, really, really hate not being closer to all my nieces and nephews.  I sure wish we lived all close together and they could have sleep overs at Aunt Amy’s house and I could take them places and spend time with them.  Makes me sad when I think about it.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys their holiday’s with loved one’s and has a wonderful new year!  We plan to ring in the New Year at my friend Dawn’s annual New Years Eve party.

Well….we made it through another Thanksgiving.  Holiday’s aren’t good for diets, but they are good for seeing and spending time with family and indulging in all the yummy dishes that you only get at such gatherings. I have some wonderful cooks in my family (I’m not one of them).  Luckily my stomach doesn’t allow me to eat as much as it used to, so I tried to get a little bit of everything I wanted to eat.  I didn’t do too bad.  I only gained .4 lbs on the holiday, but then proceeded to eat bad the next few days and gained a few more lbs.  But that will hopefully come back off this week now that I’m back on my normal schedule.

We started off Thanksgiving morning with a 5K race.  I think this is a nice tradition to begin.  This is our second Thanksgiving to start out with a race.  Last year we did the 10K in Cincinnati with my sister and this year we did a 5K here in Kansas City, and was joined by our psuedo-niece, Katie and her boyfriend, Joe.  Both years we’ve had to run in COLD weather.  Last year it was 19 degrees, this year close to 30.  Temperature is always hit and miss at the end of November.  It’s good though to get that activity in early in the morning and not have to worry about it the rest of the day!

Friday I ended up getting a call from my endocrinologist’s office.  I had my routine blood draw earlier in the month and had to go back to get more blood drawn, because the lab didn’t do one of the tests on the blood that the Dr was wanting to check.  I guess she didn’t realize this until after my appt, because for my appointment my Dr had told me that everything was good, blood work normal, levels were good and now that it’s been 20 years cancer free they probably wouldn’t be as worrisome on checking everything so often.  (Of coarse I will always get checked, but maybe not so often on the ultrasounds and scans)  She had also sent me for an ultrasound on my neck and I got the results as normal. There are swollen lymph nodes there, but nothing really changed from last time, and I had a needle biopsy on my neck within the last few years and it came back negative.  The Dr. also said they hadn’t sent her the results of that ultrascan, so I had to call and ask they send those over to her.  So anyway, back to the call I got on Friday.  The Dr’s nurse told me that the blood tests came back from that second draw and it was abnormal.  (The part that was abnormal is something that is a test for tumor markers, which she said was “positive”)  She said this was the first time since my cancer that this has come back abnormal.  The Dr wants me to come back for ANOTHER blood draw and they are going to send my blood to the University of California and have them analyze it, because I don’t think they see this very often, I think she said they’ve only had to send blood for one other person out to California. Of coarse, that is a bit disturbing to me.  It plants a little seed of worry in my brain….but I’m going to try not to worry about it until a second blood draw and analysis happens.  I’ll go in tomorrow and get the blood draw.  Not sure how long it’ll take to get results back.  Hopefully once I get the blood drawn, it’ll leave my mind until the Dr calls me back.  I haven’t gotten to talk to Dr about this yet, just the information that the nurse relayed to me.

Well, didn’t really have much time to write this morning, but wanted to post something, since it’s been a while.  We have one more race scheduled for this year – and it’ll be an indoor race mid December.  We have done DOUBLE the races this year that we did last year.  It’s been a good year.

Whew!  Back to work today after a very busy weekend!

Friday I had to go get my mandatory flu shot for work.  This year was the first year that it was mandatory.  If you didn’t get the shot, you can be fired.  If there is a reason why you can’t get the shot, you have to sign a statement and have to wear a mask for the whole flu season while at work.  Of coarse the two days they had the free shots at work, I was out of town.  I had to call and make an appt with Employee Health and run up there to get mine.  It was free, just had to take time out of my day to go get it done.  While I was up there, I also had to get blood taken for a Doctor Appointment I had totally forgotten about until I got the reminder call on it.  Of coarse, my appt. needed blood work, so I ran up and did that so they’d hopefully have it for my Monday appointment.  Friday night I stayed home and handed out Halloween candy.  I was disappointed that we had  A LOT less kids come by than normal.  It WAS cold out.  My first trick or treater was my little neighbor boy.  My cousin brought her two by also.  I’m so happy when family/friends bring their kids by.  I just love seeing the kids all dressed up.  Makes my night.  I had made tacos a couple of hours before they came, and first thing Mark said when he walked in was “What is that smell?”  He wanted to know what I made and where it was.  Haha.

Saturday Tommie and I ran out to Ward Parkway mall and got our race packets for Sunday’s race.  We ate at Firehouse Subs while we were out there and then as soon as I got home it was time for me to head out for a photo session I had planned.  I still haven’t had time to go through all the photos I took.  The lighting was a bit harsh, so I’m afraid I won’t be as happy with them as I’d like.  Tommie recently upgraded my computer, so I need to re-install my photo editing programs and figure out where I have the additions I had bought for them and how to get them re-installed into the programs.  Saturday night Tommie wanted to go out and eat, so we ended up going to Applebee’s for a not so wonderful dinner.

Sunday morning we had our 5K.  It was down on Cliff Drive off of Prospect and Independence Ave.  Not the best part of town, but I really enjoyed it!  The course was set on the scenic drive, and it was closed off, so we didn’t have any cars or houses to worry about.  It was a pretty run and I can see us doing this one yearly.  It was a back and out run.  Afterwards they served a breakfast of pancakes and eggs and fruit.  It wasn’t my fastest time, but not too far behind.  I have seen an improvement in my time from last year, but not much improvement during this year.  I was SUPPOSED to go to a book signing later that day, but I came home and fell asleep (was so tired!) and when I woke up, I saw the reminder on my phone, but it was too late.  I wasn’t too upset about it, hopefully they’ll just send me the signed book in the mail.  I bought it, it just won’t be personalized.  I really needed that nap!

So, Monday, I had originally planned to just come into work late and make up my time, but when I got that reminder about that second Dr appt, I just took a PTO day.  I had my Women’s Wellness exam first thing in the morning.  I always hate going to those, but I have the BEST Doctor and love her nurse too.  No matter how long it’s been since I’ve been they both always remember me and ask me about things going on in my life and remember what I have said in the past.  Dr. Algren gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me for my weight loss and activity.  She also told me now that I’m 40, I needed to go get a mammogram.  I went over to the hospital for the walk in clinic, but they were having a corporate event and weren’t taking walk ins.  Ended up coming back home and waited until my afternoon appointment.

My afternoon appointment was with my endocrinologist.  The blood work was back and all my levels were perfect.  I had my levels changed several times after surgery, but finally found the dose I needed to be on after my weight loss.  I asked her about a new medicine to help me get over a hump I’ve been having, so I’m going to give it a try.  My first dose was today (Tuesday) and has worked great so far!  I’ll talk more about it once I’ve been on it a while if it gets me where I want to be.  She also wants me to make an appt to have a follow up ultrasound on my neck, so that’s next on the list.  I saw my friend’s boyfriend while I was at the Dr’s office.  I didn’t say anything because he was talking with a nurse and wasn’t sure if he’d recognize me, but he saw me out in the parking lot and pulled over and said hi and talked with me some.  Afterwards I went over to the Women’s Clinic and they were able to do a walk in mammogram there for me.  So got that out of the way!

Today I was back to work.  Tommie had changed my computer downstairs and I had issues getting the remote login set up.  I wasn’t mentally prepared to deal with that first thing, so got a little frustrated.  Tommie just changed the computer back to the old one so I could get my work done.  Hopefully he can change it back and I can prepare myself better to get it all set up.  Day got better after that though.  I had ANOTHER Dr appointment today though.  My knee has bothered me for a long time.  I had been to Dr’s in the past before my gastric bypass surgery for it.  I’ve had MRI’s and XRay’s and they don’t really show anything wrong.  Last time I went to Dr I just got a cortisone shot in my knee and it made it feel better for a while.  Of coarse, when it wore off (which was a long time) it started hurting again, and it snaps, crackle and pops.  It just got to a point lately I decided to go back to the Dr.  My ankle started getting weak, and I’m sure it is because of my knee hurting is causing me to step differently on my ankle.  So, I went and saw Dr Haas and he did another XRay on me and poked around to try to figure out my issue.  XRay’s were good.  My issue is just an inflammation issue.  He says the cartilage rubbing is the sounds I hear.  Nothing really to do for it.  I got the shot, which will help with the inflammation.  He said I could take some inflammation meds, but when I asked, they were NSAIDs, and I can’t take those with my gastric bypass surgery, so I’ll just have to go get shots when it gets to bothering me.  (No fun)  There are certain things I just won’t be able to do.  I can’t do certain exexerciseshat stress that knee.  I can’t do lunges, stairs, elliptical, etc. Even said not to climb too steep of hills.  He said bike riding would be OK, but to get the seat as high as I could so I would bend my knee as little as possible. I had to change into some paper shorts for the exam when I was there and before surgery, there was no way I could fit in those!  (I’m trying to think what I did last time, I think just had to raise my pant legs up or something, can’t remember)  I felt so normal to be able to wear those silly things.  🙂

I stopped and voted on the way home and then clocked back in and had to work until late to make up my time.  Clocked out and wrote this post and now I need to go hop on the treadmill and get my steps in before bedtime!  I think I’ll have JUST enough time!

Anyway, thanks for listening to my ramblings.  It’s late though and I need to head upstairs before it gets any later!

So, the weekend before last I went on a little trip.  My sister had planned a weekend get away for us.  I flew into Cincinnati and Mom drove.  We all met at my sister’s house and headed to Indianapolis for a weekend.  Billie was wanting somewhere near her house, yet away.  Jonathan was able to stay with the kids for the weekend.

It was nice to just worry about a ticket and leave all the rest of the planning to someone else.  Usually I’m the one that does the planning.  I like to be in control of that, but it does get stressful sometimes.  When we got to down we walked around Carmel.  They had a lot of neat sculptures on the street and some nice shops.  We ate at a local Thai restaurant which was really good.  We also stopped at this donut shop that sold square donuts and they were SO good!  By the time we were done with that, it was time to check into our hotel.

The first night in town we went to former president, Benjamin Harrison’s old house.  They put on a performance there that we had tickets for.  We walked through to different rooms in the house and were presented with witness testimony from several people, on a true crime that happened in the 1860’s.  In the end we all sat around in a circle and discussed the case and decided if we found the accused guilty or innocent. Upon voting we came up as a hung jury.  What was interesting was the original jury also was a hung jury during the first trail.

The second day Billie and booked us a tour of Monument Circle in downtown Indianapolis.  They had a HUGE war memorial in the middle of the circle and you could see the State Building from there too.  It was really interesting to hear the history of the circle and get to go in a few of the old buildings.  I thought they had a beautiful downtown and we got a lot of walking in.  Of coarse I had to make my stop at the Hard Rock Cafe gift shop also while there to get my collectibles.  You can walk up to the top of the war memorial, but it was closed the day we went.  Which was OK, because we got PLENTY of steps in that day!

After the circle we walked over to a shopping district.  We went in a few neat shops and ate at a pizza place.  There was an old shoe store we walked in that claimed to be the oldest in the city.  They had a parrot in there that was sitting on the outside of it’s cage.  It had a sign saying his name was Ripley and he loved people to talk to him. So I went over and was saying “Hi Ripley!” and he’s bob his head.  He didn’t say anything back though, so I turned around to leave and he said really loud “BYE!!!”  So cute. 🙂

We next went to Oldfields house.  It was on the grounds of the Art Museum, which we didn’t go to. I was THINKING we were going to a sculpture gardens also, but it was just the gardens of the house.  This was an old house that was built in the early 1900’s and was bought by the Lilly family (from the pharmaceutical company) in the 1930’s.  One odd thing about the home was that it didn’t have any hallways!  It was just one big room flowing into another.  They also had a lot of land and had nice gardens and fountains and sculptures.  Looks like a lot of people come there to take family photos.  We saw several photographers taking photos while we were there.

We also saw the movie “Gone Girl” while there.  I had read the book, so knew what to expect.  It’s a messed up story, but I think Ben Affleck did a great job.  It was nice to spend time together and also to get to see the kids for a couple of days while there.  They are growing up so fast.  Got to see The Boxtrolls with them when we got back.  Ended up being a free movie since the screen was messed up.  Jonathan’s parents were in town for a family reunion, so it was great to see them also.

My Mom will be coming to town this coming month to see her sister, who’s been in and out of the hospital.  My Aunt Nancy has been diagnosed with a rare condition and it’s been a rough go for her.  My Mom’s been worried and really wanted to come and see her. I’ll take a few days off while she’s here.

My sister in law, Jennifer, is due any day now with her 2nd baby.  She’s having a girl (Claire Elizabeth) and I know my brother is hoping she’ll be born on his birthday (Oct 27).  We’re excited to welcome the new family member.  My next out of town trip will be to go to Florida to see the new baby.  I’m not sure when that is going to be yet though.  Then Tommie and I are wanting to go somewhere warm this winter.  Probably in February.  We haven’t decided if we’ll do Arizona again or New Mexico or even the Caribbean.  We have time to think about it though.

Well, I feel like I’m rambling at this point, so I’m going to sign off.  We should be getting our new treadmill tomorrow.  Tommie wanted something in place for the winter.  It’s a really tight fit here and there’s not a really good place for us to put it.  So we’ve rearranged the living room.  At some point, I want to gut the living room.  Just get rid of all the furniture, tear up the carpet and put down hardwood and start new in there.  I’m so ready for it all to go!  But all that takes money and time.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my words of the page. 🙂

Well, I turned 40 this year.  When I think of Forty, I just think that sounds SO OLD.  (No offense to the older than 40 bunch)  I’m speaking of myself.  I don’t know where all the time has gone!  Looking at it as “Is the glass half empty or half full?”  Guess the whole mid life crisis thing is about you realizing half your life has been lived and are you happy with where you are and where it’s going.  I won’t go into it, but it’s overwhelming at times to think about.

On another note, It was a nice birthday.  I took a couple days off work and was able to meet a few friends for lunch on my birthday and then went and saw a movie by myself.  I have ALWAYS wanted a surprise party.  When I was growing up my sister had one.  My job was to keep her downstairs and occupied until everyone arrived.  I would draw pictures of my own suprise party, but I never had one.  My cousin’s husband took it upon himself to get people together to surprise me.  I had no idea.  Tommie’s job was to get me to the bar (which wasn’t hard – he just mentioned he wanted to go out and I love going out…so said, sure, let’s go).  What was funny was my cousin has posted that she was going out on FB and if anyone wanted to go just message her and she’d tell them where she was going to be.  I knew we were going to “The Brass Rail” so I commented “The Brass Rail!”  She replied, “Sounds fun! That’s where I’m going to be!” (or something like that) and then my other cousin commented and asked if they could come, so I was just excited about a night out with cousns.  When I got there my cousin was waving at me and I was TOTALLY focused on her and when I walked towards her I totally zoned everyone else out, and didn’t even notice everyone there.  Even though there weren’t a TON of people there, the people that have made a constant presence in my life were there to celebrate with me and it made me feel special and loved, so THANK YOU so much to everyone.  I had to fight the tears, I was so moved.  We had it at a bar, so all the underage people had to leave at 9 and we had a 10K to do in the morning, so we couldn’t stay late either.  It was nice to spend a special day with loved ones.

So – On the next note – We did our second 10K.  Tommie wanted to do another 10K, since he enjoyed the Thanksgiving one we did last year so much.  I think he’s wanting to do more 10K’s.  For me, I like the 5K’s and don’t feel like I’ve conquered those yet.  I’d like to keep doing them until I can run more in them and improve on my time.  I DID improve my time though on the 10K from the last one.  I shaved off 10 whole mintues!  It was a nice way to celebrate turning 40.  I was sore for two days afterwards!

Today we did “The Great Pumpkin Run”  It was a cross country 5K and it rained for three days beforehand.  I had been wanting to do this race and was looking forward to it, but it didn’t turn out well.  I’m just SO disappointed in myself.  Got to the far end of the field and saw a bunch of people stuck in the mud.  I tried to make it through, made it half way and had to stop because someone was in front of me and that was it.  I lost a shoe that got sucked down into the mud and while trying to get it out got stuck more and had to end up digging myself out.  By the time I got myself out and both shoes off I said “I’m done.”  I felt totally defeated.  My shoes were FULL of mud and it was HARD to get out of that field!  I ended up having to take off both shoes and socks and my pants!  Luckily I had an under layer on….which were SKIN TIGHT, but at that point, I was NOT caring.  I made myself back to the start in my bare feet carrying my mud filled shoes, pants and a pumpkin. The mud was heavier than the pumpkin.  It was REALLY heavy!  It was about 40 degrees outside also, and I walked all the way back to the car in my bare, mud caked feet. 🙂  I made a stop at the long line for the hose and got my hands and feet cleared up a bit.  I was just so disappointed in myself.  I didn’t get my candle or cider or donut I wanted to try and was so upset I threw out my mud covered pumpkin.  BUT I was not alone in the people who lost shoes, got caught in the mud or gave up.  I was also glad that Tommie made it through and finished.

Tommie put all my muddy stuff in the tub when we got home to soak all the mud off.  This is what was left once we drained the water out and took all the big chunks of mud out.

When I was cleaning this out of the bottom of the tub, I found several little wiggly worms in there too.  Lovely, huh??  I think that my cross country race days are over.  At least for a while.  I am signed up for 4 more runs this year though.  They are what we are used to and I’m looking forward to them.

On thursday I’m heading to my sister’s house (flying) and we’re going away for a “girls weekend”.  Billie planned it for my 40th birthday and my Mom’s 60th birthday.  I’m looking forward to getting away and I’m also looking forward to having a weekend that my sister has planned and I don’t have to worry about anything, just follow her itenary and just go with the flow!  I had guilt because the day I leave is Tommie’s birthday.  But he tells me not to worry about it.  I have always had a hard time with understanding certain things don’t bother him, because if it was rolls reversed, it’d upset me.

Well, I feel like I’ve just rambled on without direction, and that this post is getting lengthly.  I’m heading out to take Homecoming pictures for a friend tonight, so should get things wrapped up.  Thanks for reading my ramblings.  I don’t have the energy to go back and proof read this so please forgive me any mistakes!  🙂

Well, I had my consultation today with the Plastic Surgeon.  I wanted to get an idea of how much it would cost and get his advice on whether I need to lose more weight before I consider it or not.

I went to a doctor that shares a lobby with my Bariatric Surgeon.  I went in and of coarse had to strip down to barely nothing and get photos taken.  Yay!  Fun! I knew I had to do that though.  The Doctor came in and looked at me and basically told me what he’d do, surgery wise.  He told me where he’d cut and what scars I would have.  I told him what I was wanting to address and with everything I wanted done, he said he’d do two surgeries.

The first surgery would cover the whole abdomen.  From pelvis to right under the breasts.  I had heard of people being left without belly button’s after surgery, but he said I’d have one.  He said it’s a possibility of losing it, but he’s never lost one.  (as it depends if it can get good blood flow back to it)  He explained I’d have a scar all the way across the crease under my stomach and up the middle of my abdomen.  He’d remove skin, bring it in and tighten it and also do some lypo while in there.  It would basically be outpatient.  I can’t remember now if he said I’d stay overnight or go back home same day and come back next day to get drains out.  I think you go home and then come back.  Off time from work would be about two weeks.

The second surgery would be my arms and thighs.  Plus the side fat the doctor left from my breast reduction, he’d take care of with the arms.  He would do both these surgeries at the same time.  Time off work for this one would be one to two weeks.  They are both done behind Saint Lukes South.  The second surgery is basically twice as much as the first, since it includes two areas, done at the same time.

I was surprised at the price of the surgeries.  Personally, I was expecting it to be a lot more.  I’m also glad that Tommie had that same reaction when he asked me how much.  He said “That’s it?”  I’m not sure he was happy I went and got my consult now.  He knows I’d like to lose more and it seems that he thinks I should do this AFTER I meet my goal.  When I asked the Doctor if I should lose more before considering this, he said no.  He said the requirements are that you are 18 months out from your gastric bypass surgery and that you have maintained a weight for six months or more.  (Which I have)

I was upset when I first told Tommie and he hinted that I need to lose more before doing this, because I didn’t really get anything out I wanted to say.  I ended up taking a long walk and thought about things before coming back and making my case.  This is the way it works.  They gave me a quote for both surgeries.  The abdomen will be done first.  The second surgery will have to be done at least four months later.  Surgeries have to be paid in full before they will do them.  I will have to pay 20% by November 1st to lock in the quoted price and after that I can just make payments towards the surgery as I can.  I can take as long as I need and there is no interest on it.  I know I want to have this surgery done, but I’m not in a hurry.  I’d like to get started by making payments so when I AM ready, I will be able to get it done.  He had a few questions, which I will bring up with the office before moving forward, but for the moment…..I think I will start on making payments and plan to do the surgeries in six to twelve months, depending on how much I can pay towards it.  In the meantime I’m going to continue to work at losing my weight and getting closer to the goal I have made for myself.  It’s getting harder and harder as time goes by.

It’s scary and exciting to think about.  I’m not looking forward to the pain of the surgery, but I’m looking forward to the final result.  I’m also scared I won’t be happy with it.  The breast reduction surgery was VERY emotional for me.  The outcome wasn’t what I expected and I wasn’t 100% happy with it.  I’ll just have to deal with the outcome though and hope I’m making the right decision.